Today I'm baking French Bread. When life gets too fuzzy and unsure I bake and often it's bread. Today is one of those days. Don't call the shrinks or anything, it's just one of those days. It's one of those times in life that just don't feel right or at best uncomfortable. Some days it's OK, even good. Other days I just am. I don't post this to ask for sympathy. Somewhere way down in a little corner of my heart is a little light and that little light reminds me that some day, maybe next week or next year life will look different. That little light gives hope and the ability to look at Bread Days as the stepping stones that will get me across this crazy time. I tell the Lord that this is ok, sometimes I can only whisper it or barely breath it, but it's ok, because he promises that He will complete what He has started in me. I love baking bread. I love the process. I love beating it to death in my kitchen aid only to watch it rise again. So, I'm going to enjoy this bread day. (Mom, don't call, don't worry, I'm fine. :) ) P.S. Our Sunday school lesson this week is on humility. Hmmm...
In other, more positive news I posted a lot of pictures from the wedding, but I failed to mention anything about the party that took place at our house after the wedding. Matt's three oldest girls spent the night here along with my parents. The time was way too short, but it was so much fun. This aunt misses the days when I had hours to spend playing with my nieces. I miss it, but I do love watching them play with Isaiah and Nathan. They are great babysitters! Here's a picture of Sunday morning breakfast. (notice Nathan's long hair)
The next week I cut it -finally! Here is an after picture. Sorry it's so dark. I love his eyes. One of these days I'll post an update on what all he is getting into and doing. He is growing up so quickly!
One more random thing. A couple morning ago Nathan woke up before Isaiah and started playing in his crib. He was laughing and having a great time. Isaiah woke up then and we heard him interact a little with Nathan, but then he came over to our room and told us with a very sad look on his face, "there isn't any laughing in my mouth!" :)
This morning Isaiah wanted me to do something with him, but I was talking to Jeremy. I'm not sure what Jeremy told him, but he responded with "but she's my woman!" I wonder where he hear that from?! He called me "Babe" the other day. I put a stop to that rather quickly!
And that's enough random thoughts for one day.
So interesting that you put into words your thoughts about baking bread. I've come to one conclusion about myself. One reason I like to bake is because it's something I know almost inside out (at least the basic stuff), and I can do it. I can make something and actually finish it in one day, and I can reap the rewards right away (if it turns out well). And if it doesn't turn out well, I can keep perfecting the recipe until I'm happy with it. Quite a contrast from cleaning the house, raising kids, and doing endless loads of laundry. It's something kind of...concrete...I guess. Interesting. I guess we all have our "things", but I can identify with that. Oh, one more thing...you should try working your bread by hand sometime when you have time. Sometimes I do it just for the mental therapy :-)
ReplyDeleteif bread baking was my "thing", we'd have a houseful by now. sigh. (things aren't really calming down yet.)
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